You Don't See Me
- Kevin Steinman- vocals, background vocal arrangements/performance
- George Maurer- Yamaha C7
- Laura Sewell- cello
- Jim Payne- lyrics
Whenever love breaks your heart
and your life falls apart.
You always need a friend who you can rely on.
And every time it turns out I'm
the one whose shoulder you will cry on.
But you don't see me.
And when romance comes once more
you show up at my door
and swear to me that "this time, love is real."
My heart grows weak as you start to speak
of the boy who's now your new ideal.
But you don't see me.
When I said to you that true love's charms
could all be found in your best friend's arms
that notion seems to have surprised you.
That distant look in your eyes
I think now I realize
how much your dreams have hypnotized you.
It's time for me to find someone new
who will keep me in view
and see me clearly, morning, night, and noon.
But my farewell won't break the spell
for you've been blinded by the moon.
But you don't see me.
You see long and far.
You see that far away star.
But you don't see me.
In the winter of 2004, I was working on writing You Don't See Me for the song-cycle Stations of the Heart, when I found myself in one of those situations where I somehow didn't really like what I was writing. Stations of the Heart is lyrically-influenced by the Great American Songbook, each song containing an opening introduction and then a variation on the AABA song format. It was the introduction (not heard on this version of You Don't See Me) that was throwing me off as I initially composed, somehow pushing the song in a direction I wasn't enthused about, and soon I was at a standstill. In a rare moment, I decided to completely throw out the intro and just start with composing the verse. The opening strains you hear on the piano in this version then flowed out of my hands into my magical old 1926 player piano, and a melody soon followed. I fell in love with it even as I wrote it, even though, unlike many of the other 8 jazz songs in the song-cycle, this one was asserting itself as a gently syncopated 6/4-time pop waltz.
My good friend and fellow performer, Kevin Steinman, soon heard a recording of the song sung by Ann after we had workshopped it through Nautilus Music-Theater's monthly Rough Cuts series. He loved her performance, and begged to record a version of it himself. Even though the song was nowhere complete (I still hadn't tackled the introduction) and even though the song-cycle was years from being debuted, I agreed, curious about what he would do with it. We recorded it live in the beautiful home of my good friends Wolfgang and Silke, on their incredible Yamaha C7, on a colorful, cool autumn morning in 2004, and I instantly fell in love with this much different rendition that Kevin created.
Then, the recording sat for 5 years, as I continued further writing for the song cycle. I revisited it when deciding what to feature on this CD, and knew that it had to be included. Kevin updated the recording in his studio (the Brilliant Factory) to feature newer lyrics, but we also kept some things the same, compositionally, that had been changed as the song went into the premier of the entire Stations of the Heart song-cycle featuring Ann. When we do release Ann's version of You Don't See Me in 2010 on Stations of the Heart, it will contain the unheard introduction, be in a different key, and will be sung in only the way Ann Michels can sing it- unique and compelling in its own way. But I admit, both versions do haunt me, as do others who first hear it. A sensitive lyricist, a simple melody, and the right interpretation of voice and color can really enhance the emotion of a song, just as unrequited love enhances our emotions. We all have at one time or another, been in love with someone who, instead, has been in love with someone else. You Don't See Me speaks plaintively of this. Laura Sewell's cello only sweetens the angst. Kevin Steinman's arrangements for the background vocals brings this song to new heights, and I rate this as perhaps the most touching and seductively sad songs I have ever had the privilege of writing and performing.
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